Bad Dogs


Hi Everypawdy, Maxx here!  As you know, I’m kinda new to this whole people family thing and I’m trying to get a handle on what is a good dog and what is a not-so-good dog.  Now Mom and Dad don’t ever come right out and tell me that I’m being a bad dog, but I really get the impression sometimes that they are not too pleased with some of my chosen behaviors.  For instance, there’s a LOT of talk in this house about my teeth.  What?  I’m a puppy!  I have teeth.  I need to chew!  My mouth hurts.  As a result Mom’s legs and arms and nose and forehead hurts BOL.  Her pants are shredded and those great high heels she has for work?  You can call them flats now!  Who knew those heels came off that easy?  They should really make them sturdier if they are gonna charge over $300 for them.  Sheesh!  So Mom and Dad bought almost every chew toy they could find for me and most of their friends chipped in too and I have a lovely assortment.  I, of course, made my own choice…

Priceless!

So this is good, really fun to watch.  Mom downloads books onto her iThingy and starts reading how to get me to stop biting (heloooooo, I gotta grow a new set of teeth!) and do so gently.  Simply turn her back on me:  Leads to lacerations on the back BOL.  A loud yip that sounds just like a littermate:  Oh GOOD, another puppy to play with, I’ll put her whole head in my mouth!  Shake a can and make a loud noise at me: I get really mad and start acting like a Pitbull on steroids barking at the can, then when she backs away I come flying at her like some Pacman character and attach to her leg just below the knee drawing large quantities of blood through to her white pants.  I believe that is when I heard her mutter something about me being the “Anti-Buddy.”  That was a compliment right?

So what does a “good dog” look like?  I want to please my new family, I really do.  My teeth just hurt.  We had some other dogs over and I watched to see what they did so I could get some pointers from the big dogs.  Here’s what I figured out:

Jumping up on the furniture while the humans are eating is just fine, in fact, they seem to enjoy it.  Just don’t use your teeth.  Ok got it.

Run around the pool like a bunch of hooligans with complete abandon and splash water everywhere is great!  Check.

Surfing IN the pool without a lifeguard on duty is just fine.  Allrighty.

And MOST importantly:  Chewing on OTHER DOG’S faces is A-OK!!

OK, I’m narrowing it down here and it might take a while.  Us puppers can be a handful I know but we are cute right?  Just let this be a reminder to you when you are searching your iThingy and Facebook and blogs for tips on how to raise us that each one of us is a unique being and we all will probably respond to a combination of approaches.  We all gotta grow together and find our inner dog, that is a part of “being the dog” and I’m glad you’re all in it with me.  Enjoy the ride efurrybody (oh, and watch your ankles!)

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About airPA

CEO of airPA. Corporate Flight Attendant, PA on the fly, In-Flight chef.
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One Response to Bad Dogs

  1. Rhonda says:

    You just a lil baby teething! Boy boy! Poor Mama too! So how did those shoes taste? You know Maxx those CHEAPER shoes taste JUST as good! Woof! You are growing so quickly before long all these “habits” will be distant memories for all………. BOL

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